Look what she brought home for me tonight.

My favorite quote so far:

“Republicans may be square, but it’s the squares who know how to fire the missiles and load the M-16s”

Indeed=Heh²

Oh yeah, I almost forgot this one:

When other countries demand a role in the exercise of global power, America can ask another fundamental American question: “You and what army?”

bwah, hah, hah, hah³

I’ve never done one of these here “open thread” deallios before....but since it’s Friday night, I’ve been away from much of the news today and am heading back out for a bit....
I was hoping you all could catch me up on anything I’ve missed today and/or update us on the Congressional vote going on. I’ll be back after a good couple hour’s work-out. I need to blow off some steam and dust out the week’s cobwebs. 

I arrived here to do all humanly possible to help all the Venezuelan people

Get him while he’s.....
There’s a Chevito too! Or is it Chavecito? I’m so confused.

*rolls eyes*

*nibbles nails*

PS—I’m in RENO [once killed a man in RENO, just to watch him die… but that’s not important, now] More RoadBlogging anon.

It’s one of those days. One of those days when you realize that a $5000 testing server has apparently decided to migrate to sunnier climes. Without anyone’s foreknowledge, of course. So, we’ve spent the day living the first half hour of Law and Order.

Thank god these guys are our next door neighboors.

Is it 5:00 anywhere, yet?

Update! I just realized that, were I female, Nestle is our next door neighboor on the other side. I’d always wondered why the men and women in the office parked on opposite sides of the lot. Another mystery solved.

When I arrived at Fort Lewis, I found Walt standing in his commander’s office. They were a pair: the commander still on crutches recovering from a few gunshot wounds--but expected to make a full recovery--and Walt with his semi-closed eye, planning for a career in photo-journalism. I asked about Walt’s citizenship, and they assured me that the Army had taken control of the situation and there would be no further problems or delays.

Walt said that his very expensive Leica camera was not actually blown to pieces, but just scratched up with some minor internal damage. But he was deeply honored that so many people had offered to help, and he asked that I kindly tell the many people who had come to his defense, “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” I told Walt that’s our way of welcoming him to America.

Now please carry on, you’re not done yet....

Lloyd

An audiotape purportedly from the head of al-Qaida in Iraq said Friday the group’s suicide bombers did not intend to bomb a Jordanian wedding party at an Amman hotel last week, killing about 30 people.A

“We didn’t target them. Our target was halls being used by Zionist intelligence who were meeting there at the time,” he said. “Our brothers knew their targets with great precision.”

A Sioux Falls NYC man is charged with indecent exposure after being found partially unclothed and lying on the floor with a female mannequin in the Washington Pavilion.

Michael James Plentyhorse, 18, 708 N. Dakota Ave., moby was discovered by a Pavilion security officer at 4:35 p.m. Monday in the Washington High School Alumni Room, police said.

The guard observed Plentyhorse moby with his pants and underclothing down and lying next to the half-naked female mannequin, a police report states.

“There was inappropriate activity between him and the mannequin. That’s the only way I know how to put it,” Sioux Falls police officer Loren McManus said.

Security staff at the Pavilion say they have noticed the same mannequin has previously been found undressed on several occasions, McManus said.

No drugs or alcohol appear to have been involved.

Iran’s volunteer Islamic militiamen are vowing to form a human chain along the length of the country’s borders as a show of force against international pressure on Tehran’s atomic program.

Iran faces referral to the U.N. Security Council for possible sanctions after failing to convince the world its nuclear fuel program is intended for power stations rather than warheads.

Mohammad Hejazi, head of the volunteer basij militia, swore he had enough people to girdle the country.

”Nine million basij will form a human chain around Iran on November 26 in support of the country’s right to peaceful nuclear energy,” he told state television Wednesday.

I’d like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love
Grow apple trees and honey bees
And snow-white turtle doves

I’d like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I’d like to hold it in my arms
And keep it company
(That’s the song I hear)
I’d like to see the world for once
(Let the world sing today)
All standing hand in hand
And hear them echo through the hills
For peace throughout the land
That’s the song I hear
(That’s the song I hear)
Let the world sing today
(Let the whole wide world keep singing)
A song of peace that echoes on
And never goes away

Put your hand in my hand
Let’s begin today
Put your hand in my hand
Help me find a way

With Cheese

The Top Politically inCorrect Words and Phrases for 2005:

1. Misguided Criminals for Terrorist:  The BBC attempts to strip away all emotion by using what it considers neutral descriptions when describing those who carried out the bombings in the London Tubes.  The rub:  the professed intent of these misguided criminals was to kill, without warning, as many innocents as possible (which is the common definition for the term, terrorist).

2. Intrinsic Aptitude (or lack thereof) was a suggestion by Lawrence Summers, the president of Harvard, on why women might be underrepresented in engineering and science.  He was nearly fired for his speculation.

3. Thought Shower or Word Shower substituting for brainstorm so as not to offend those with brain disorders such as epilepsy.

4. Scum or “la racaille” for French citizens of Moslem and North African descent inhabiting the projects ringing French Cities. France’s Interior Minister, Nicolas Sarkozy, used this most Politically inCorrect (and reprehensible) label to describe the young rioters (and by extension all the inhabitants of the Cites). 

5. Out of the Mainstream when used to describe the ideology of any political opponent:  At one time slavery was in the mainstream, thinking the sun orbited the earth was in the mainstream, having your blood sucked out by leeches was in the mainstream.  What’s so great about being in the mainstream?

6. Deferred Success as a euphemism for the word fail.  The Professional Association of Teachers in the UK considered a proposal to replace any notion of failure with deferred success in order to bolster students self-esteem.

7. Womyn for Women to distance the word from man.  This in spite of the fact that the term man in the original Indo-European is gender neutral (as have been its successors for some 5,000 years). 

8. C.E. for A.D.:  Is the current year A.D. 2005 or 2005 C.E.? There is a movement to strip A.D. (Latin for Year of our Lord) from the year designation used in the West since the 5th century and replace it with the supposedly more neutral Common Era (though the zero reference year for the beginning of the Common Era remains the year of Christs birth).

9. “God Rest Ye Merry Persons” for “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”:  A Christmas, eh, Holiday, carol with 500 years of history is not enough to sway the Anglican Church at Cardiff Cathedral (Wales) from changing the original lyrics.

10. Banning the word Mate:  the Department of Parliamentary Services in Canberra issued a general warning to its security staff banning the use of the word ‘mate’ in any dealings they might have with both members of the Parliament and the public. What next? banning Down Under so as not to offend those living in the Up Over.

Holiday Bonus:  Happy Holidays or Season’s Greetings for Christmas (which in some UK schools now label Wintervale.  (In the word X-Mas, the Greek letter ‘Chi’ represented by the Roman X actually stands for the first two letters of the name Christ.)

Last year the Top Politically Incorrect words were:  Los Angeles Countys insistence of covering over with labels any computer networking protocols that mention master/slave jargon.  Following closely were non-same sex marriage for marriage, and waitron for waiter or waitress. 

The Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations (AO)

1. Army Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area.

2. Army Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake. 

3. Army Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal thesis in obscure 5 series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using counter-mobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don’t understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake ops.

4. Army Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it.

5. Army Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores all State Department directives and Theater Commander Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other snakes. Files enormous travel settlement upon return.

6. Army Armor: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes to squash. 

7. Army Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage with three Forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered a success and all participants (i.e., cooks, mechanics and clerks) are awarded medals.

8. Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition and calls for naval gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites SEAL and retreats to safety. Hollywood makes fantasy film in which SEALS kill Muslim extremist snakes. 

9. Navy: Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various types of ships, kills snake and makes presentation to Senate Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means of anti-snake force projection.

10. Marine: Kills snake by accident while looking for souvenirs. Local civilians demand removal of all US forces from Area of Operations.

11. Marine Recon: Follows snake, and reports its movements.

12. USAF Transport pilot: Receives call for anti-snake equipment, delivers two weeks after due date. 

13. Supply (All Branches): (NOTICE: Your anti-snake equipment is on backorder.)

14. Food Services (All branches): Feeds snake.  Snake does not die, but wishes it could.

15. USAF Civil Engineer. Scrapes dead snake off of road surface, throws carcass into trash.

16. USAF F-15 pilot: Mis-identifies snake as enemy Mi-24 Hind helicopter and engages with missiles. Crew chief paints snake kill on aircraft. 

17. USAF F-16 pilot: Finds snake, drops two CBU-87 cluster bombs, and misses snake target, but gets direct hit on Embassy 100 KM East of snake due to weather (Too hot also too cold, was clear but too overcast, too dry with rain, unlimited ceiling with low cloud cover etc.) Claims that purchasing multi-million dollar, high-tech snake killing device will enable it in the future to kill all snakes and achieve a revolution in military affairs.

18. Army Aviation: Has Global Positioning Satellite coordinates to snake. Can’t find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicure, all in time for happy hour.

19. Army AH-64 Apache pilot: Unable to locate snake, snakes don’t show well on infra-red. Infrared only operable in desert AO’s without power lines or SAM’s.

20. Army UH-60 Blackhawk pilot: Finds snake on fourth pass after snake builds bonfire, pops smoke, lays out VS 17 to mark Landing Zone. Rotor wash blows snake into fire.

21. Judge Advocate General (JAG) (All Branches): Snake declines to bite, citing grounds of professional courtesy.

22. Intelligence officer: Snake ? What snake? Only 4 of 35 indicators of snake activity are currently active. We assess the potential for snake activity as LOW.

23. USAF B-52 pilot: Pulls ARCLIGHT mission on snake, kills snake and every other living thing within two miles of target.

24. USAF Missile crew: Lays in target coordinates to snake in 20 seconds, but can’t receive authorization from National Command Authority to use nuclear weapons. 

25. USAF Combat Controllers: Guides snake elsewhere.

26. USAF Para-Rescue Jumper: Wounds snake in initial encounter, then works feverishly to save snake’s life.

27. Military Police. MP shoots snake. Lays a .38 caliber pistol on the ground and claims that the snake was reaching for a gun.

28. USAF Security Forces: If snake has line badge in its possession or is not posing threat to nuclear weapons, lets it pass. If snake does not have restricted area badge, jacks it up, apprehends it, and transports snake to desk to be turned over to its commander.

Cousin Joe (he’s not talking much but I’m gonna nail his ass down here soon....baaaaaaaaahhhaaaaaaaaaaaaa)

“Real freedom will come when soldiers in Iraq turn their guns on their superiors and fight for just causes and for people’s needs...”

This from a professor in response to the announcement of a speech by a decorated war veteran. Anyone want to set odds on whether this asshole will suffer any consequences?

Let the scraping commence.