The Top Politically inCorrect Words and Phrases for 2005:

1. Misguided Criminals for Terrorist:  The BBC attempts to strip away all emotion by using what it considers neutral descriptions when describing those who carried out the bombings in the London Tubes.  The rub:  the professed intent of these misguided criminals was to kill, without warning, as many innocents as possible (which is the common definition for the term, terrorist).

2. Intrinsic Aptitude (or lack thereof) was a suggestion by Lawrence Summers, the president of Harvard, on why women might be underrepresented in engineering and science.  He was nearly fired for his speculation.

3. Thought Shower or Word Shower substituting for brainstorm so as not to offend those with brain disorders such as epilepsy.

4. Scum or “la racaille” for French citizens of Moslem and North African descent inhabiting the projects ringing French Cities. France’s Interior Minister, Nicolas Sarkozy, used this most Politically inCorrect (and reprehensible) label to describe the young rioters (and by extension all the inhabitants of the Cites). 

5. Out of the Mainstream when used to describe the ideology of any political opponent:  At one time slavery was in the mainstream, thinking the sun orbited the earth was in the mainstream, having your blood sucked out by leeches was in the mainstream.  What’s so great about being in the mainstream?

6. Deferred Success as a euphemism for the word fail.  The Professional Association of Teachers in the UK considered a proposal to replace any notion of failure with deferred success in order to bolster students self-esteem.

7. Womyn for Women to distance the word from man.  This in spite of the fact that the term man in the original Indo-European is gender neutral (as have been its successors for some 5,000 years). 

8. C.E. for A.D.:  Is the current year A.D. 2005 or 2005 C.E.? There is a movement to strip A.D. (Latin for Year of our Lord) from the year designation used in the West since the 5th century and replace it with the supposedly more neutral Common Era (though the zero reference year for the beginning of the Common Era remains the year of Christs birth).

9. “God Rest Ye Merry Persons” for “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”:  A Christmas, eh, Holiday, carol with 500 years of history is not enough to sway the Anglican Church at Cardiff Cathedral (Wales) from changing the original lyrics.

10. Banning the word Mate:  the Department of Parliamentary Services in Canberra issued a general warning to its security staff banning the use of the word ‘mate’ in any dealings they might have with both members of the Parliament and the public. What next? banning Down Under so as not to offend those living in the Up Over.

Holiday Bonus:  Happy Holidays or Season’s Greetings for Christmas (which in some UK schools now label Wintervale.  (In the word X-Mas, the Greek letter ‘Chi’ represented by the Roman X actually stands for the first two letters of the name Christ.)

Last year the Top Politically Incorrect words were:  Los Angeles Countys insistence of covering over with labels any computer networking protocols that mention master/slave jargon.  Following closely were non-same sex marriage for marriage, and waitron for waiter or waitress. 

The Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations (AO)

1. Army Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area.

2. Army Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake. 

3. Army Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal thesis in obscure 5 series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using counter-mobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don’t understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake ops.

4. Army Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it.

5. Army Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores all State Department directives and Theater Commander Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other snakes. Files enormous travel settlement upon return.

6. Army Armor: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes to squash. 

7. Army Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage with three Forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered a success and all participants (i.e., cooks, mechanics and clerks) are awarded medals.

8. Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition and calls for naval gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites SEAL and retreats to safety. Hollywood makes fantasy film in which SEALS kill Muslim extremist snakes. 

9. Navy: Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various types of ships, kills snake and makes presentation to Senate Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means of anti-snake force projection.

10. Marine: Kills snake by accident while looking for souvenirs. Local civilians demand removal of all US forces from Area of Operations.

11. Marine Recon: Follows snake, and reports its movements.

12. USAF Transport pilot: Receives call for anti-snake equipment, delivers two weeks after due date. 

13. Supply (All Branches): (NOTICE: Your anti-snake equipment is on backorder.)

14. Food Services (All branches): Feeds snake.  Snake does not die, but wishes it could.

15. USAF Civil Engineer. Scrapes dead snake off of road surface, throws carcass into trash.

16. USAF F-15 pilot: Mis-identifies snake as enemy Mi-24 Hind helicopter and engages with missiles. Crew chief paints snake kill on aircraft. 

17. USAF F-16 pilot: Finds snake, drops two CBU-87 cluster bombs, and misses snake target, but gets direct hit on Embassy 100 KM East of snake due to weather (Too hot also too cold, was clear but too overcast, too dry with rain, unlimited ceiling with low cloud cover etc.) Claims that purchasing multi-million dollar, high-tech snake killing device will enable it in the future to kill all snakes and achieve a revolution in military affairs.

18. Army Aviation: Has Global Positioning Satellite coordinates to snake. Can’t find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicure, all in time for happy hour.

19. Army AH-64 Apache pilot: Unable to locate snake, snakes don’t show well on infra-red. Infrared only operable in desert AO’s without power lines or SAM’s.

20. Army UH-60 Blackhawk pilot: Finds snake on fourth pass after snake builds bonfire, pops smoke, lays out VS 17 to mark Landing Zone. Rotor wash blows snake into fire.

21. Judge Advocate General (JAG) (All Branches): Snake declines to bite, citing grounds of professional courtesy.

22. Intelligence officer: Snake ? What snake? Only 4 of 35 indicators of snake activity are currently active. We assess the potential for snake activity as LOW.

23. USAF B-52 pilot: Pulls ARCLIGHT mission on snake, kills snake and every other living thing within two miles of target.

24. USAF Missile crew: Lays in target coordinates to snake in 20 seconds, but can’t receive authorization from National Command Authority to use nuclear weapons. 

25. USAF Combat Controllers: Guides snake elsewhere.

26. USAF Para-Rescue Jumper: Wounds snake in initial encounter, then works feverishly to save snake’s life.

27. Military Police. MP shoots snake. Lays a .38 caliber pistol on the ground and claims that the snake was reaching for a gun.

28. USAF Security Forces: If snake has line badge in its possession or is not posing threat to nuclear weapons, lets it pass. If snake does not have restricted area badge, jacks it up, apprehends it, and transports snake to desk to be turned over to its commander.

Cousin Joe (he’s not talking much but I’m gonna nail his ass down here soon....baaaaaaaaahhhaaaaaaaaaaaaa)

“Real freedom will come when soldiers in Iraq turn their guns on their superiors and fight for just causes and for people’s needs...”

This from a professor in response to the announcement of a speech by a decorated war veteran. Anyone want to set odds on whether this asshole will suffer any consequences?

Let the scraping commence.

Lieutenant Stephen Spear of the Webster Groves Police Department (WGPD) said the police were called to Webster after a report of indecent exposure. Spear wouldn’t confirm the suspect’s name, but said the suspect approached a table at the career fair with genitalia exposed through a pant zipper. After inquiring if there were any job openings with the company, Spear said the suspect then colored on his genitals with a highlighter from the company’s table.

the alleged exposure was one in a series of social experiments meant to assess cultural taboos in society involving awkwardness around the human body

The student charged with indecent exposure at the Webster University career fair Nov. 1, has stated the incident was a performance art piece. In his blog*..........

Ahh, ye olde plotte thickens:

Sulpovar was issued three summonses to appear in court on Dec. 14: one for the charge of indecent exposure and the other two for possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of less than 35 grams of marijuana.

In case you missed it…

*yes, he has a blog.

“For some reason, people believe that because we’re not 18, we don’t have the same First Amendment constitutional rights as they do,” said Amanda Francke, 18, a senior and editor in chief of Cascade’s Stehekin.

Tuesday’s meeting was packed with students, parents and supporters. Some wore T-shirts with the text of the First Amendment printed on the back. Others held picket signs saying “Trust us!” outside before the meeting.

There’s allot here....say…

Your kid calls you a cocksucker........just free speech or do you punish his ass? Is that unConstitutional of you if you do?

What about keeping a kid after school or grounding your son....is that kidnapping?
Where IS the line drawn here?

This is my 8 year old, Ian - sleeping.  Earlier today he earned his yellow belt in Karate.  At 6 pm he had a Pack Meeting for Cub Scouts.  Yesterday was Little League practice.  Tomorrow a school play for celebration of Thanksgiving.  That’s all true - and he seems to be having a great time with it all. 

The pillow thang sort of strange… but I golf.

WHITE FRUITCAKE

4 cups shelled pecans

1 pound candied cherries

1 pound candied pineapple

1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 pound butter

1 cup sugar

5 large eggs

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 to 2 ounces vanilla extract

1/2 to 2 ounces lemon extract

Chop nuts and fruit into medium-size pieces; dredge with 1/4 cup of flour. Cream butter and sugar together until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs. Sift together remaining flour and baking powder; fold into butter-egg mixture. Stir in vanilla and lemon extracts. Blend in fruit and nuts.

Grease a 10-inch tube pan.

Line with parchment, wax paper or foil; grease again. Pour batter into prepared pan or pans. Place in cold oven and bake 2 1/2 to 3 hours in tube pan or 2 hours in 8 1/2-by-4 1/2-inch loaf pans at 250 degrees. Check cakes 1 hour before done, again in 30 minutes. When done, remove from oven; cool in pans or cake rack.

Makes 5 pounds of fruitcake.

Note: In 4 1/2-by-2 1/2-by-1 1/2-inch (baby) loaf pans, bake cake about 1 hour. For 1-pound cakes in 2-pound coffee cans, bake about 2 hours. In 5-ounce custard cups, bake about 1 hour. And in ungreased foil bonbon cups, bake about 30 minutes.

Guys: Are we going to make Sondra K pay for this herself ???

Say it ain’t so !

I flipped her a twenty via Amazon yesterday. Let’s show her we care.

As one of the exes says “Anyone who says money’s not everything hasn’t been shopping Neiman Marcus at the Houston Galleria”.

ps: I’m outa here, offline ‘til Sunday night or Monday, hope to find some money in the kitty when I back.

comment by Hurricane Thomas on 11/17 at 07:33 AM

*hikes up long red velvet dress so I can curtsey*

Thank’s Tom!!!!

“It’s a very simple product to use,” Dr. Spana said.....................

My head’s already swimming with thoughts of how this will be abused.

Gullyborg

That Ray might be onto something....

inspired by Andre3K

Threats to man who shot domino-toppling sparrow

An animal worker who shot a sparrow after it almost wrecked a world record domino toppling bid has asked for police protection after receiving death threats.

Several international animal rights groups expressed outrage over the killing of the sparrow that toppled 23,000 of the four million dominos set up for record attempt in Holland.

Investigations into the legality of the shooting in Leeuwarden have also been launched.

A representative of the animal management company that employs the man said: “We have not made an official complaint as that would be no use.

“But if an idiot comes around here, we want a direct line to the police so they can come quickly to help us.”

Organisers of the upcoming event have hired extra security staff following the death threats and an offer of £2,000 made on Dutch radio to anyone who topples the dominos prior to the event.