Thank you, Senator Schumer, for your generous introduction, and even more for your support and our partnership over so many years. You are a valued and trusted colleague, a friend,

“...and you don’t mind these heel-prints up your back and through your rapidly-thinning locks, do you? *pause* Ha.  I thought not...”

Mr. Chairman [JOhn KErry], I offer my congratulations as you take on this new role. You certainly have traveled quite a distance from that day in 1971 when you testified here as a young Vietnam veteran.

“Oh, yessss—we remembersss our foot-ssssoldiersss.....”

[retch-inducing smarmy pseudo-sentimentality redacted for the safety of the reader]

You’re welcome.

Today, nine years into a new century, Americans know that our nation and our world face great perils: from ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, to the continuing threat posed by terrorist extremists, to the spread of weapons of mass destruction;

“...which didn’t exist during my co-administration—except in Kosovo—did exist when I voted to go into Iraq, quit existing shortly thereafter and may or may not exist on a day to day basis, at my convenience.  Yanno - like cattle future profits.
hm… note to self - invest in WMD futures]”

The seventy days since the presidential election offer fresh evidence of the urgency of these challenges. New conflict in Gaza; terrorist attacks in Mumbai; mass killings and rapes in the Congo; cholera in Zimbabwe; reports of record high greenhouse gasses and rapidly melting glaciers;

“Remember!  at MY convenience.”

and even an ancient form of terror – piracy – asserting itself in modern form off the Horn of Africa.

IOW - SSDD.

Aak—she is verbose, trite, shopworn, boilerplate and remarkable pompous.  Lemme just go for the key phrases, ‘k>?

we must promote economic growth and shared prosperity at home and abroad

aka - socialism

“globalization” [sic]… a profoundly interdependent world in which old rules and boundaries no longer held fast… seize the opportunities of our interdependence...global solutions ...“smart power,” ...

...partnering effectively with NGOs...and international organizations… using modern technologies for public outreach… adding resources to the State Department and elevating the role of the diplomatic corps…

Great.  Foggy Bottom adds on.

First, President-Elect Obama is committed to responsibly ending the war in Iraq and employing a broad strategy in Afghanistan that reduces threats to our safety and enhances the prospect of stability and peace.

... But, over time we have seen that our larger interests will be best served by safely and responsibly withdrawing our troops from Iraq,

IOW - “Code Pink, bite me.”

Equally important will be a comprehensive plan using all elements of our power – diplomacy, development, and defense – to work with those in Afghanistan and Pakistan who want to root out al-Qaeda, the Taliban, and other violent extremists who threaten them as well as us in what President- Elect Obama has called the central front in the fight against terrorism. We need to deepen our engagement with these and other countries in the region

“Oh, and we’re gonna kick ass in Afghanistan and glass Pakistan, so shaddap, hippies.  Or, maybe we’ll just build sewer systems all over those mountains.  Whatever.  Shaddap, anyway.”

the forces of alienation and violent extremism across our world

Great—more Clintonian, Wellesleyian idealistic crap-tlap.  Islamopithecus is not “alienated.” They simply disagree with you [and US] at a very profound level.

I’m sensing a new meme, too:

smart approach… a strategy of smart power… Smart power… smart power… smart power… smart power…

Anything like those “smart” trains to nowhere and the “smart” cars - aka golf carts?

President-Elect Obama and I seek a future of cooperative engagement with the Russian government on matters of strategic importance, while standing up strongly for American values and international norms.

You might be interested to note, Hillary!, Pooty-Poot does not want to cooperate—he wants to rule.  Just a heads-up.

We want a positive and cooperative relationship with China, one where we deepen and strengthen our ties on a number of issues, and candidly address differences where they persist.

China doesn’t.  China wants to win.

With ... China, we should work together on ... reforming financial markets.

uhm, what, now?

most severe global economic contraction since the Great Depression. The history of that crisis teaches us the consequences of diplomatic failures and uncoordinated reactions.

Yeah - History teaches us to keep the gubbmint’s paws off lest it precipitate a decade-long depression.

Yet history alone is an insufficient guide; the world has changed too much.

Rly?  They repeal gravity, too?

we have an especially critical need to work more closely with Canada, our largest trading partner, and Mexico, our third largest.

Amero, anyone?

an effort begun this week with a meeting between President-elect Obama and President Calderon

hm… that was quiet, eh?

We will return to a policy of vigorous engagement throughout Latin America… taking up the President-Elect’s call for a new energy partnership of the Americas built around shared technology and new investments in renewable energy.

We’re gonna conquer Mexico and Latin America?!?

In Africa… the foreign policy objectives of the Obama administration are rooted in security, political, economic, and humanitarian interests, including: combating al Qaeda’s efforts to seek safe havens in failed states in the Horn of Africa; helping African nations to conserve their natural resources and reap fair benefits from them; stopping war in Congo; ending autocracy in Zimbabwe and human devastation in Darfur; supporting African democracies like South Africa and Ghana-

We’re gonna conquer Africa, too?

working aggressively to reach the Millennium Development Goals in health, education, and economic opportunity.

“Millennium Development Goals”—that’s where the UN takes a percentage of US GNP and gives it to Turd World dick-taters to buy booze ‘n’ broads conquer pooooverty, bemember?

And here’s the kicker - the final clue that this clueless bint is just another uselessful tool.

climate change is an unambiguous security threat

How? you ask?

it could very well incite new wars of an old kind—over basic resources like food, water, and arable land.

erm… warming would actually make more arable land.  What we gotta worry about now, Welleseley-guurl, is the cooling which actually will threaten food production—not carbon credits fattening your purse.

Here’s another worthy goal—just not entirely applicable to our planet:

To create more friends and fewer enemies, we can’t just win wars. We must find common ground and common purpose with other peoples and nations so that together we can overcome hatred, violence, lawlessness, and despair.

Just exactly what “common ground” do you think is possible with Islamopithecus?  Hell—you can’t even find “common ground” with an American Conservative.

Here’s summore Hillary! Logyk™:

...the global AIDS fight. ... Now, thanks to a variety of efforts—including President Bush’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief as well as the work of NGOs and foundations—the United States enjoys widespread support in public opinion polls in many African countries.

Dang—and here I thought the goal was to save human lives.  Boy am *I* dumb.

Aww, wait.  Maybe I’m being ungenerous and that’s not really what she meant…

And we can generate even more goodwill through other kinds of social investment…

Nope—I’m not ungenerous.  She’s actually talking about taking our resources/time/work and buyin’ votes overseas.

Aw geeze - here comes another meme catchphrase…

a “bottom-up” approach to ensuring that America remains a positive force in the world. The President-elect and I believe in this strongly. Investing in our common humanity through social development is not marginal to our foreign policy but integral to accomplishing our goals.

WTF is “social development?!?” Is that what one learns in the Obamanaut Forces?  Conscripted?

Our foreign policy must reflect our deep commitment to the cause of making human rights a reality for millions of oppressed people around the world.

While eroding Individual Liberty, Equality Before The Law and Freedom here in the US?  Neat trick.

More trick-phrases to come.

sustainable foreign policy

Then, after more maudlin sentimentality aimed at ingratiating herself with her new line staff, she warns Congress that she’ll be back to demand ginormous piles more money for her “sustainable,” “smart” Foggy Bottom.

It is to retch.