An inmate at an El Salvador jail was caught with a hand grenade stuffed up his backside—a novel attempt to disguise his apparent escape plans.

Guards at the San Francisco Gotera prison outside the capital San Salvador found the V40 grenade, about the size of a golf ball, lodged up the man’s rectum during a security clampdown, a prison spokesman said on Thursday.

Gee… Explosives up a dude’s ass in a prison with the name San Francisco… Who couldn’t see this one coming?

But wait, there’s more…

Last year, prison guards found an M67 grenade in the vagina of a female visitor at the overcrowded La Esperanza-Mariona prison on the northern fringes of San Salvador.

The M67 grenade is not a small object.  I’ll leave it at that.

How many words are there in Dr. Suess’ Green Eggs and Ham?

Many people know that Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama’s father was from Kenya and his mother from Kansas.

But an intriguing sliver of his family history has received almost no attention until now: It appears that forebears of his white mother owned slaves, according to genealogical research and census records.

Man this just conjures up a potentially serious self-loathing conundrum for Barry Obama.  Did Hillary’s henchmen dig this up in order to dissuade the black vote from going to Barry?

And will Al Sharpton demand a DNA test or just blackmail Obama for the VP slot on the ticket?

Drudge

Warner Bros. Pictures is developing a feature on the lives of Valerie Plame and Joseph Wilson, the Washington couple at the center of the CIA leak scandal, Daily Variety reported on Friday.

The Time Warner Inc.-owned studio has secured their life rights, and will also use Plame’s memoir, “Fair Game,” which is expected to be published late this year by Viacom Inc.’s Simon & Schuster, the paper said.

Your assignment:
Who to play the Plame-Wilsons?

Rodger’s playing too.

Opponents of a Navy plan to use dolphins from San Diego to guard a submarine base in chilly Washington are knitting hats, mittens and sweaters for the dolphins.

The informal group of knitters hopes to persuade the Navy not to use the animals from the 60-degree waters of San Diego in 46-degree Hood Canal.

The Navy announced a plan February 12th to use the dolphins and California sea lions to watch for terrorist swimmers at the Trident submarine base.

Opponents plan to show up with their knitting at public meetings March 27 in Keyport and March 28 in Seattle.

Rodgie

Since global warming on Earth is being caused by non-communist travel practices, and since Mars is in the same solar system as Earth, this means the causes of glacial melt on Mars must be the same as the causes of glacial melt on Earth.

And, since glacial melt on Earth is caused by driving vehicles with more horsepower than an Italian motor scooter, they must have SUV’s on Mars.

DougM

SamM

^before Chris’ do-over^

It’s a good thing National Geographic News waited until after the Oscars were presented in Hollywood on Sunday night before publishing its story on global warming, or else Al Gore might have flown home empty-handed.

Three days after “An Inconvenient Truth,” Mr. Gore’s global warming show, took home an Oscar, National Geographic’s Kate Ravilious reports that it’s not just Earth, but Mars too, that “appears to be enjoying more mild and balmy temperatures.”

She cites 2005 data from NASA’s Mars Global Surveyor and Odyssey missions, revealing that the carbon dioxide “ice caps” near Mars’ south pole are diminishing, “evidence that the current global warming on Earth is being caused by changes in the sun.”

Habibullo Abdussamatov, head of the St. Petersburg’s Pulkovo Astronomical Observatory, is quoted in the article as saying the Mars data is evidence that the “long-term increase in solar irradiance is heating both Earth and Mars.”

The question now is whether Mr. Gore’s coveted Oscar can be recycled?

Sondra,

These are Marines at the Embassy enjoying Operation Smok’em....
Col Fred

Thank you so much for keeping us posted!!!

Illuminating style : A model presents a creation by British-based Turkish Cypriot designer Hussein Chalayan during the Autumn/Winter 2007/2008 ready-to-wear collection show in Paris.

What’s the weirdest thing in your trash can right now?

now it’s VERY personal

Dear environMENTAL retards,
Because of you my prescription of Albuterol inhalers has gone from $7.47 to $20.30 a piece because you decided that the accelerent they used to have was wrecking the environment and it now will be saved by me inhaling some different fucking crap that I know nothing about deep into my lungs just so I can breathe. I was also told when I called to inquire WTFF!!!!!! that they can clog at any point so if I or someone else dies because their inhaler was jammed it’s going to be up YOUR ass.

The soles of my CARBON black feet are going to be doing some serious stomping now.

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when
his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed,
which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that
there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?” and he
said “no”. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he
should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when
available.

George said, “Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police
again.

“ Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were
people in my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now
cause I’ve just shot them all.” Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and
an ambulance showed up at the Phillips’ residence and caught the
burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George: “I thought you said that
you’d
shot them!”

George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!”

Schwarzenkennedymania

...Schwarzenegger advised Bush to adapt a version of his cigar-smoking tent...

So which ceegar ought Dubya to offer his tent guests?

seeing is believing… journaling is even more convincing

Flt 62 ...As the cockpit door opened, another perp suddenly appeared from around the galley, dropped his shoulder into FO while the first one got in the way…

Look ‘round The Aviation Nation a little.

Melissa

cast your ballot, please

Thing A
So instead of going to Toys “R” Us for his Christmas present, the grandparents in Columbia gave the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency $200 and got the little boy a lifetime hunting and fishing license.

Thing B
Every child born in California ...regardless of their parents’ income or immigration status.... would get a $500 savings account to start building a nest egg for college or down payment for a home, under a bipartisan bill introduced Wednesday in the state Senate.
The proposal would cost taxpayers about $285 million a year.

“This is the essence of equal opportunity. Every child, every person ought to get a head start,” said prattled Sen. Darrell Steinberg, D-.....

Demonstrating yet again the benefits of a state education.

let’s buy a berth for Algore

Ottawa, eh A former Canadian defense minister is demanding that world governments disclose alien technology that could be used to solve the problem of climate change… Hellyer, who served as defense minister ... in 1963, says knowing the fuel technology used by alleged aliens for driving their saucers or UFOs could eliminate the burning of fossil fuels thus saving the planet from the perils of climate change.

heh...

Cuchieddie

Reality to the White Courtesy Phone, Please.

= ”fiction”

24 star KIEFER SUTHERLAND has accepted an invitation from the US military to teach army cadets it is wrong to torture prisoners.

...JACK BAUER ...has agreed to talk to cadets at the West Point military academy ... after army chiefs claimed the show’s torture scenes are influencing its newest recruits. Earlier this month (FEB07), Brigadier General PATRICK FINNEGAN visited the set of 24 to urge its makers to cut down on torture scenes.

who are these people?!?!?!?

More

bohica

Can someone please explain to me how these carbon credits do anything to reduce anything.

^CLICK^

our brush with Greatness

SteveH of Hog On Ice fame [is there such a word as infame?] has Hit The Big Time.  His new book, The Good The Spam and The Ugly prompted a FUXNOOZ Video Interview! 

I was caught by his first book, Eat What You Want and Die Like a Man, and I’m still working off those Brownies.  and Biscuits.  and… and…

Bastard.

*clicky*
and buy!

for a taste... Careful—he’ll hurt ya.
and he’ll like it.

In a small but significant trend, Christian employees of corporations and universities are volunteering to work in far-flung countries with strong Muslim majorities. Their goal: To enjoy the comparatively clean moral environment those countries offer.
“We pretty much lost the culture war in America,” says Angelina Hayes, mother of three and recent immigrant to Qatar. Her husband was offered a job here by his company, Honeywell. “There is no culture war in Qatar. It’s morally safe.”
For some evangelical Christians, the recent string of pro-gay court rulings and increasingly permissive pop culture have served as a shot across the bow that has sent them packing to countries whose values more closely match their own.
“You can see where the U.S. is going — toward gay marriage and government-sponsored abortion,” said Bruce Darling of IBM who volunteered to move his family to IBM’s middle east operations base in Kuwait. “I don’t want to be around for that.”

~SNIP~
Gathering in the cul-de-sac one evening as the sun sets red over the nearby desert, the residents say their experience is everything they wanted and more.
“It’s a great family atmosphere,” says one man.
“Except for the sandstorms,” says another man. The others laugh.
“Taxes are low here, so that’s a plus,” offers one mother whose children ride bikes up and down the street. But the morality question is the main reason these and other Americans relocated to the Middle East.
“We feel a kinship with our Muslim neighbors,” says the mother. “There’s an innocence. Yes, we disagree on spiritual things, but there’s no blatant sexuality on TV, no condoning perverse behavior. This is like America in the 1950s, and that’s the environment we want to raise our children in.”
Some say they’ve occasionally been harassed by ardent Muslims, but as one man put it, “I’d rather be razzed by Muslims once a year than forced to share the mainstream culture with godless sickos.”
“Amen,” says another.

A man who was found dressed in latex and handcuffs brought a donkey to his room in a Galway city centre hotel, because he was advised “to get out and meet people,” the local court heard last week.
Thomas Aloysius McCarney with an address in south Galway was charged with cruelty to animals, lewd and obscene behaviour, and with being a danger to himself when he appeared before the court on Friday. He was also charged with damage to a mini-bar in the room, but this charge was later dropped when the defendant said that it was the donkey who caused that damage.
Solicitor for the accused Ms Sharon Fitzhenry said that her client had been through a difficult time lately and that his wife had left him and that his life had become increasingly lonely.
“Mr McCarney has been attending counselling at which he was told that he would be advised to get out and meet people and do interesting things. It was this advice that saw him book into the city centre hotel with a donkey,” she said. She added that Mr McCarney also suffered from a fixation with the Shrek movies and could constantly be heard at work talking to himself saying things like “Isn’t that right, Donkey?”
Supt John McBrearty told the court that Mr McCarney who had signed in as “ Mr Shrek” had told hotel staff that the donkey was a family pet and that this was believed by the hotel receptionist who the supt said was “young and hadn’t great English.”
Receptionist Irina Legova said that Mr McCarney had told her that the donkey was a breed of “super rabbit” which he was bringing to a pet fair in the city. The court was told that the donkey went berserk in the middle of the night and ran amok in the hotel corridor, forcing hotel staff to call the gardai.
McCarney was found in the room wearing a latex suit and handcuffs, the key to which the donkey is believed to have swallowed. He was removed to Mill St station after which it is said he was the subject of much mirth among the lads next door in The Galway Arms.
He was fined €2,000 for bringing the donkey to the room under the Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837. Other charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.

~*~

The end.

...when I said if you could see it you’d laugh too?

Well, here: