Honey, it’s not just slow, it’s S-L-O-W. Thought it was my laptop, then my router, then my cable modem. All checked out OK.

Keep your chin up, we ain’t going anywhere!

Well this is sorta like being last in a long Wal-Mart checkout line...now that there are other folks in it I don’t feel so bad.

Quit You???  Not gonna happen.

Well I for one am absolutely incensed about it.  I mean, after all!! I have important stuff to tend to . . . like feeding my dogs, taking a nap, considering lunch, avoiding my offspring.  I have little more than, oh . . . say, 3 or 4 hours a day to diddle around with e-mail and blogsurfing.  Good grief!

And besides, sometimes Murphy was a goddam optimist, you know.

Murphy my psychotic maniacal CorgiGremlin?

I don’t think so!

Oy, even the admin pages are glacial speed.

I despise UPS already, but now they’re fucking with the Headmistress!  Bastards!

I see you’re using Red Hat (which version?), PHP 4.1.2, and I’m going to guess MySQL.  Gotta love Netcraft.  Is the filesystem ext3?  I’ve had problems with large files on ext3.  I moved them to ReiserFS (ver.3) and things got better.  Course ext3 has better journaling features.  Is the MySQL (or whatever database you’re using) hosted on the same box?  If so, bad Sondra, bad.  If you have a high volume/traffic site, you should seperate the database and web server to different boxes.

Since I mentioned filesystems, when’s the last time your’s has had fsck run on the volumes?  Also, has traffic to your site had a dramatic increase?  A slow website can be many things, not necessarity your server or aoftware.  Latency from an edge device at the ISP level could be a culprit, firewall, IDS, etc.

Just my .02 worth.

Uh, yeah, what he said.

Good luck . 

I’m going to click refresh and make dinner.

Yeah, it’s really slow but we’ll all live.  We know it’s not your fault babycakes and we’ll just deal with it......between naps.

Ooommmmmmmmm

raz0r.... can you e-mail me and chat a bit about what you just said in ‘Draklish?

Seriously....a little later maybe you and your huge head of infinite tech wisdom like it looks like what you just said.........could help a putard out?

Sure thing.

Mech- I hit F5 and then work on ny middle-age combover. By the time the page loads, I have the hairline of a 60 yo.  :-)

raz0r I didn’t even understand half of what you said!  hahaha

I’m guessing the db is on the same box.  I’ve never talked to Rich myself, though, so I dunno.  Basically, server admin stuff is beyond my Cluetard Limit.

I just tried it to access in IE (aggh, must wash hands), and then retried with Firefox.  Both had better response times than a few minutes ago, but not stellar.

If the db and site are on the same box, we can eliminate latency between the web server and db server.  However, that can add overhead to a busy server.  I emailed Sondra to let her know that I had a server at work do something similar (mine consistantly timed out) that was due to a faulty NIC driver.  Has an update been applied recently to any part of the server?

BTW, I’m not a db admin, just a network/server/security admin.  Do some webdev stuff occassionaly.  So hopefully I can help.

Oh, for Pete’s sake, Son. Like we’re going anywhere. :D

I’ve been coming to your site for 2 years, and it’s always the slowest to load of any I go to. Lately, it’s gotten twice as slow. Rodger Shlong’s site is 12 times faster, and he lost his genitals in 1917 (according to him).

Yea, what razOr said!

Back to watching Andy Griffith…

I know, I am a geek!

Sondra,

It’s not a latency issue.  I just tracerouted to your site in 18 hops that took a whopping 17 secs.  The last hop (your server) responded in 59ms.  I sent 4 ping packets with the shortest taking 51ms and the longest 61ms.  That’s good, real good.  From south east coast to north west coast and back in less than a second.  Note: You should filter out echo-request packets.  DDOS attacks can really mess up your day.

I’d send ya’ a “ping packet” but at my age I need to divvy them out carefully.

Note: You should filter out echo-request packets. I’m thinking you can tell me what that is and how to do it later...????

hotlinking icons from other servers, feed readers, etc will slow things down.

When did you start using FeedBurner?

Yeah.  It’ll drop echo-request (ping and traceroute) packets at the door.  That’ll stop script kiddies from trying to use zombied PCs to launch multiple ping floods at your site.  Doesn’t happen a lot anymore, but better safe than sorry.  I’ve weathered one from on campus where I work and it sucks.  Worthless puke student.  He got his.

Headmistress,

Thank you for noting that the Kids are getting tired of cornmush for breakfast.  Ever body is instantaneous cept you deary.....

But we endure your kinkyness..................

Semper Fi

Gee, I thought it was just my steam-powered computer…

NOW THAT’S FAST!!!!!!!!!

I know!!! Wha happened????????????????

*vrooooooooooooooom*

OK. I give.

What’s FeedBurner and what does it do?

Wow that’s almost as fast as my premature ejac…

It’s GIVING me premature ejac.......

So when they ask you “If you have anything to declare”.  Leave Premature Ejaculation off the commentary.

Feedburner is for your RSS feeds, Sondra.  That’s not the problem, you’ve had that for ages.

I’m still cross-eyed from raz0rspeak.  (Huh?)
;-)

And yeah, it is faster now.  Did you do something?

Heck and all the time I thought it was only in the comments. Seemed to have taken forever to accept. My page load coming in is no prolly.
But going from page to page is (was)?

Don;t quit you!?  Ya gotta be kidding. I’m helplessly addicted. After you well, there’s only Malkin:-)~
p.s. I do like her new vlog:hotair.com

2¢ ?!!??!? 
Cheeze Louise, raz0r—that’s like 50 bucks worth - for the obscure vocabulary alone! 

[yer just doin’ that cuz SK tolja esoteric jargon makes me hot]

Hell it does fine for me. It pops right up. But Iam a fuck head.

Note to self.  Claire finds esoteric jargon stimulating.

You learn so much about a person in a time of crisis:)

OK...so we got the load times fixed.
Now can someone tell me why the bemember me (save my info) function won’t work for me in Firefox???

dunno, it works for me.

I knew I shoulda taken that Esoteric Jargon class in college!  Damn!

M Claire, does basket weaving blow your skirt up atall?

My Firefox (Linux and Windows) bemembers my login.  Do you have something munching/deleting the cookies?  If your cookies are getting munched/deleted, then the session info goes with it.

Pepe’s Firefox bemembers the Alamo.

Connecting to http://www.sondrak.com, we see:  a 301 redirect page

Apache/1.3.27 Server at rax0.connactivity.com Port 80

Linux, huh? Good choice, but Apache 1.3 is old. Is your server trying to do IDENT pulls on browsers connecting? It might be waiting on that, and only continuing with servicing the page load after the IDENT attempt times out. It’s better NOT to do that, or to have the connections refused (rather than time out) on the firewall.